Couples, families, and roommates argue less when every chore has a size, a name, and a day.
Start with a normal week, not a perfect one. Include the jobs people forget because they happen in passing: taking out the trash, wiping the counter, starting the laundry, buying milk, feeding the pet.
Leave off one-time projects until the repeating work is on the list. A fair split of daily chores matters more than a plan for painting the hallway.
Five small jobs are not the same as one heavy job. Mark each chore Quick, Normal, or Big. Wiping the table is Quick. Changing the sheets is Normal. Cleaning the fridge or mowing the lawn is Big.
Split the week by effort, not by the number of lines on the list. The person with three Big chores can have fewer tasks than the person with a handful of Quick ones.
"Whoever sees it" is how the same person ends up doing it. Every chore needs one person and a day. If it repeats, leave it on the list for next week instead of writing it again from memory.
Trade jobs when the week changes. Don't renegotiate them in the middle of doing them.
A second argument starts when someone buys what was already at home, or forgets what the household needed. One list, visible to everyone, replaces the text messages.
Once a week, look at what is due and what got done. That conversation is short when the list is already written. It turns into a fight when the only record is what each person remembers.
Points, a streak, and a simple leaderboard make the quiet jobs visible. Finishing on time can be worth more than rushing a chore two days late. The goal is not a prize. The goal is that nobody has to prove they did the work.
MyChorito keeps this list for a household on iPhone and iPad: chores with a person and a due date, a shared shopping list, a calendar, and a score. It is free to download, and one optional Premium subscription covers the whole household. Get it on the App Store.